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The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.
Online dating takes a different attitude and skill-set than, say, making cold approaches at a bar or flirting with someone you met at a house party.
” Remember what I said earlier about how we mentally filter people into “attractive” and “not attractive” when we meet them in person?
The lack of non-verbal cues that attract us to others don’t carry across in online dating and, as a result, you’ll occasionally come across people who seem great on paper but who don’t turn you on in person.
Telling somebody you’re adventurous is similarly unhelpful.
Better to talk about your recent trip to Ankor Wat or – even better – have a photo of you in front of Ta Prohm.
This is why so many people get first dates that go nowhere; you may have had great intellectual or , it just wasn’t going to work. And that’s where the benefit of the numbers game comes in.
When we meet somebody in person, we have hundreds of thousands of verbal and non-verbal clues to give us an intuitive grasp of who we’re talking to and whether or not we’re into them long before we go up and introduce ourselves.
Everything from how they stand to how they talk, who they talk to, how they act around their friends, how they smell, even the pitch and timbre of their voice indicate whether or not we’re likely to have an initial attraction to them that would prompt us to make that all-important first approach.
You have to treat your dating profile as an advertisement; you are, after all, selling yourself to others.
This means that you have to consider your market, what you’re looking for and what makes you, specifically, attractive to others.
I’m going to tell you something that you already know: dating is a frustrating process of trial and error.